OK, So It’s a New Record
That’s what I’m working on. There’s at least one exciting detail I can’t talk about yet, but I can say a few things now. I’m currently writing a bunch of new songs and rehearsing them with a band. I intend to debut (or, “publicly screw up”) these new songs with this band, probably using an electric guitar, at a couple of shows in July:
Iron Horse – Northampton, MA
Thursday July 22 at 7 PM
Tickets: http://bit.ly/bs6VNn
Somerville Theater – Somerville, MA
Friday July 23 at 7:30 PM
Tickets: http://bit.ly/cFaSw4
And after that I’ll head back to NYC to write some more and rehearse some more. At some point after that we’ll go into an actual studio and record all my fantastic new songs with talented musicians using high quality audio equipment. Fully licensed audio professionals will record and mix everything. Might put a couple of old ones on there too, maybe a couple from The Aftermath, maybe a couple of deep tracks from the back catalog. But really, mostly new songs, I’m serious this time. I already have at least four that you haven’t heard, and one of them is about mustaches, so that’s good.
As you can imagine, I’m excited but mostly scared about all of this. Here are a few reasons why (I swear I am not fishing for compliments or encouragement – I’m fully invested in this plan and am going to do it no matter what you think, and even if it’s a TERRIBLE DISASTER):
Why The New Project Frightens Jonathan Coulton
1. I barely know anything about playing the electric guitar. For instance, what is an “amplifier?”
2. I’m not sure I can write good songs anymore, and suspect that my best work is behind me.
3. I’m not used to spending money on talented musicians, high quality recording equipment, and fully licensed audio professionals.
4. I fear collaboration with other musicians who might be more talented than me.
5. I’m afraid that even a small change in direction is going to disappoint some fans.
6. I’m worried that even a small change in direction is going to make some aspect of my business not work anymore and that I will have to get a real job.
7. Like most rational humans, I’m pretty sure that I am basically a fraud, and that this move will finally expose my fraudulence for all the world to see.
8. This probably will involve a label and some other new business things that are new to me, I don’t even know what to say about that.
9. Change. Mediocrity. Backlash. Bad reviews. Effort. Internet comments. Mistakes. Regret. Robots.
10. Number 10 is secret.
So, back to work. Mustaches, that’s funny, right?
Please Do Not Get Arrested
And if you do, please do not mention my name to the police.
It is a very special day in Coultonland, a day I like to call “The First of May.” This is a free country, or at least it was until Obama was elected,* and so I do not presume to tell you how to celebrate it. I have no doubt that whatever you do, you will be sure to obey the law and comply with local ordinances. Also please remember that poison ivy has three shiny pointy leaves.
I myself will mostly be staying indoors, but I have already rubbed a couple of butts – no, they were PORK BUTTS, and I rubbed them with SPICES you pervert. What is wrong with you? Later I’m going to cook them on the GIRL.
My gift to you is this mp3 of a relevant track from “BEST. CONCERT. EVER.” You do not have to get me anything, in fact, I think I would prefer that you didn’t.
Happy Spring!
* Sarcasm
What Is Happening? (TL;DR)
Hello! If it seems like I’ve disappeared from the internet it’s because I’ve been in prison. Kidding! They have the internet in prison!
First, please note that the following shows are happening:
May 7th-9th
MaxFunCon!
Lake Arrowhead, CA
Pretty sure it’s too late to get tickets to this, but even so: http://www.maxfuncon.com
Thursday May 13 at 8PM
The Hat Factory in Richmond, VA
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/9DUbkg
Friday May 14 at 9PM
The Lincoln Theater in Raleigh, NC
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/9yGzhH
Saturday May 22 at 8 PM
Sympho’s “Tweetheart”
Church for All Nations in NYC
Sympho is an orchestral concert series run by my friend (and fellow Whiffenpoof!) Paul Haas. Tweetheart is an evening of classical, electronica, and pop songs about love. I’ll be doing one of my songs that he’s arranged for the symphony – it’s going to be really cool I think.
Tickets: http://bit.ly/awryfl
Thursday May 27 at 7:30PM
Just for Laughs in Montreal, QC
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/aBraSC
If you think I am not going to do “Re: Your Brains” in French while I am in Quebec, then you are crazy. There are still PLENTY of tickets available, if you know what I mean.
Friday May 28 at 8PM
Gladstone Theater in Ottawa, ON
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/92ShRK
Sunday May 30 at 8PM
Enwave Theater in Toronto, ON
With Paul and Storm
Tickets: http://bit.ly/98K68o
And now for the long wordy part in which I talk about me.
Yes, I have been hiding out of late. You may have noticed my last blog update was OVER A MONTH AGO, and I’ve been awfully quiet on the Twitter. And of course I continue to completely ignore Facebook and MySpace, though that’s mostly because I am an old person. This year had a busy start with a lot of touring, all really great shows with some lovely audiences, including the exciting opportunity to open for They Might Be Giants for a few shows. But all that travel time and road food and T-shirt counting tires me out. I have been resting.
As I keep saying in interviews, “Whine whine, success is a terrible burden, etc.” I was as surprised as anyone when Thing a Week started generating audiences and income, and the last few years have been about sorting that out: figuring out how to play live and tour, tweaking the business side of things, counting huge stacks of cash, finding a decent helipad maintenance team, the usual. There hasn’t been a lot of song writing, which is supposedly a large part of my job. I understand now why bands tour for a while and then stop so they can write the next record – it’s very hard to write anywhere near a tour, especially when you’re running everything yourself. Sometimes I feel more like a traveling salesman than a musician.
So I’m going to keep a much lighter tour schedule for a while, and I’m going to really buckle down and make some music. For serious this time. Not even jocoserious, I’m talking SERIOUS serious. In fact, I am currently working on a thrilling super-secret project, and if it comes together I’ll be able to talk about it very soon. I’m slightly terrified about it, which means it’s probably the right thing to do. And it will involve lots of new music and creative stretching and growing, which is something I desperately need if I’m going to stay engaged and satisfied and relevant. Thing a Week was excruciating, but I miss it. I’m ready for The Next Project, and I think I finally know what it is.
So that’s why it’s been quiet around here, and I promise it’s going to get less quiet soon. In the meantime, thanks for your patience and continued support.
P.S. Does anybody know how to write songs?
Rock Band Network Is Live
A while ago the fine folks at Harmonix contacted me about the Rock Band Network, a way for artists to independently get their music into the game. They’ve gone through a long process of working out the kinks, and yesterday the new store went live. I’ve currently got four songs in there: Code Monkey, Creepy Doll, The Future Soon, and Ikea (Still Alive, Skullcrusher Mountain, and RE: Your Brains were already in the regular Rock Band store). There are some more in the pipeline that should be ready in a couple of weeks, and I intend to add more as we go. For the first 30 days this will be exclusive to Xbox, but after that they’ll make select tracks available on the Playstation and the Wii.
And it’s not just me, there’s going to be a lot of great stuff in there. I’ll quote the press release, because I find it hilarious to read my name in this list:
There are currently more than 100 songs available for purchase in the Rock Band Network Music Store from artists including The Shins, The Hold Steady, The Main Drag, Bang Camaro, of Montreal, Jonathan Coulton, Skeleton Witch, 3 Inches of Blood, Lacuna Coil, Stroke 9, and Steve Vai*. There are more than 300 artists in the RBN pipeline, with additional tracks already on the way from Flight of the Conchords, The Smashing Pumpkins, Twin Atlantic, All That Remains, Clutch, Prong, The Gaslight Anthem and many more coming soon.
Right next to Skeleton Witch!
Anyway, enjoy. I’m really excited about it – yet another way for smaller fish to play in the big pond. Viva la revolucion!
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